The parable and miracle of the goldfish

Our day started out with a death and a trash can burial. A silver-colored goldfish, named Smokey, jumped out of the aquarium at some point in the night and we found him on the floor this morning—stiff and dry. All traces of water on the hardwood floor from his unexpected arrival in our waterless world had long since dried up. Even the floor directly beneath his body was dry.

Four years ago, we purchased Smokey from a tank of mostly dead and sickly feeder goldfish. He cost us 10 cents. We had saved him, along with several others feeder fish that day. Now our rescue fish was dead, lying on the hardwood floor, dark and stiff.

Feeling sorrow for his lonely death, I picked him up by the hard tail fin, carried him into the kitchen and buried him in the trash can. At the breakfast table, my children saw and they, too, expressed sadness at his demise. After all, Smokey had lived for several years, grown to be the second largest in size, and was the only silver goldfish in the group.

During breakfast my children reminisced about Smokey while I started doing dishes. But I keep hearing the Spirit whisper to me. “Don’t give up on him yet. Don’t let him die this way. Give him a chance to live.”

You may recall the Spirit's whispering on behalf of the world's grumpiest cockatiel (see blog dated....) Yet this fish was dead. This whispering was after the trauma, not before.

Then I recalled a similar fish incident years ago, when my firstborn child was only two. He decided to go ‘fishing’ in our tank and managed to catch one of the fish. When he proudly told my of his feat I looked in the tank and, sure enough, one fish was missing. I went searching for the fish. After an hour and a half I found him. He had flipped up under the couch and was dry and stiff. As I picked up my son’s ‘catch’ to throw it in the trash can I saw its gill move. Quickly I filled a bowl with water and dropped in the fish. He started breathing and went on to live for several more years.

Now, as I did the dishes, the whispering continued. “Don’t give up on him yet. Don’t let him die like this. Give him a chance to live.”

So, when my children were not looking, I retrieved Smokey from the trash can, filled up a bowl with water from his fish tank and dropped in the fish. By this time he had been in the trash can for 45 minutes and on the floor for much longer (possibly hours) yet, amazingly, he immediately responded and started to breathe.

I still didn’t tell my children—I didn’t want them to get their hopes up—so I sent them to school and continued to watch Smokey’s recovery. Within an hour he was swimming upright, though rather slowly, and I put him back into the tank.

I then went to the gym to workout. While on the treadmill my heart, and even my prayers, went out to this little fish. I don’t feel guilty praying for animals. I don't feel anyone should. I have come to know in my life that God loves all His creations, even the animals.

As I jogged I realized that Smokey had not jumped out of the tank on purpose. In the guise of ‘having a good time’ Smokey obviously went a bit too far and landed outside the safety of the water. There he found himself alone and needing help. He floundered and fought for life yet could do nothing to save himself until, finally, he succumbed to the consequences of his actions.

And I saw a gospel parallel. Often, in the guise of ‘having a good time,’ people go a bit too far and land outside the safety of the living water of the gospel. They break the commandments, they don’t feel they need to be in Church, but they are floundering and, soon enough, they will face the full effects of their actions. If someone isn’t there to help them, the consequences can result in spiritual death, the drying up of a testimony and the stiffening of a soul.

And then I thought of those people I know who are struggling to live outside of the gospel. They break the commandments and think they are happy but I see their floundering, gaping, open-mouth attempts and I know that, sooner or later, they will face the full effects of their actions.

We all know and love people like that. Maybe we see them and feel they are, somehow, too far gone to help. We may have even mentally placed them in the trash can of life, claiming they are gone for good, yet “Don’t give up on him yet” is powerful advice for all of us. The Lord runs on a different timetable. He doesn't care how long we've laid spiritual dead or even in the trash can. He just wants someone to pull out each precious soul and give them a chance to live. There is no one so far gone, or so long gone that the Savior cannot yet reach them. We just have to keep trying. We should never give up on anyone.

And the Spirit also taught me another truth. By not telling my children that I had placed Smokey back into a bowl of water, I thought I was protecting them from disappointment in case he should die later. What the Spirit told me was that I had cut Smokey off from the power of their prayers. That was not a door for me to close for anyone or anything.

So, as I ran on the treadmill this morning I prayed for those friends of mine outside of the living water of the Gospel. If the Lord clearly tells me to not give up on a goldfish, I know He does not want me to give up on them.

I also prayed prayed for forgiveness for not allowing my children to tap into the greatest power they possess…the power of prayer. I asked that my lesson to learn be mine alone, without Smokey or my children suffering.

And the Lord heard those prayers. Smokey is swimming with more strength and his fins are starting to open again.

Great miracles and lessons often come in little packages.

They had it without me.

For years I have wanted to go to a writer's conference but, alas, timing, distance and money have all conspired to keep me away from those gatherings of verbiage and knowledge. Finally, however, I learned of a writer’s conference that would fit my schedule, my budget, and my travel constraints. So, I sent in my fees almost two months ago, reserved a spot at the conference, marked the date on my calendar, submitted my first chapter for critique, and waited.

This morning I arose bright and early and left the house shortly after 5:30 a.m. to make the three and a half hour drive to the much anticipated conference.

But this time a late spring blizzard was my conspirator and I managed to travel only 80 miles in two and a half hours.

Earlier this week I had a feeling I should not attend the conference. Now, traveling through a steep, unplowed mountain pass those feelings increased until I could not shake the impression that I should turn around. For miles I fought the impression, prayed for guidance and, finally, managed to bring the car to a stop in the deepening snow. But there I hesitated. I wanted to go to the conference!

Yet the impression would not leave and finally, very reluctantly, I followed the prompting and turned around.

Ten miles down the mountain my human side returned. I turned my car around and headed back toward the conference. After all, I really wanted to go. Besides, I’m a Montanan. I’m used to driving in snow storms. It’s what we do.

As I headed toward the conference the impression returned, stronger this time. If you go, it said, the trip will be dangerous for you. You need to be home today.

It took several miles before I listened to the prompting. Feeling sad about not going, I turned the car toward home again, consoling myself that it is never wrong to choose family over other things.

This time, though, I only made it about five miles down the road when I started arguing the prompting and justifying the trip. I’d paid a non-refundable fee. I had wanted to go to a conference for years and this one was close, relatively speaking.

So I stopped justifying and decided I was going to the conference--no arguing about it. I turned around again and headed back toward the conference when a powerful voice said, Terri, do not go. I will not tell you again.

Okay. That caught my attention and this time I turned back toward home, for good.

Yet I cried over the decision. I really, really wanted to go to the conference. Worse, I wasn’t sure the impressions had come from the Lord or my own subconscious. Because of that, I felt added frustration I may have chosen wrong.

Don’t you wish you could see into the future and know for sure if your decision was really the one He wanted you to make?

That is when I felt a whispering in my mind. On those times when we make a decision because we think, hope, we are following the Lord—He is still pleased.

Remember when your young child tried to please you by making breakfast? I bet you smiled warmly and gave that child a big hug even though the eggs were not cooked, the toast was burned, and orange juice had spilled on the counter and floor. Why? Because it was the sincere effort that pleased you, not the outcome.

And I realized this morning the Lord often feels that same way about us.

It's the effort to follow Him, not the outcome, that means so much to Him.

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Save $$$ at the grocery store!

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Recently I received a call from a church leader. He wanted to know how I budget my groceries. As a leader, he is often called upon to counsel families and individuals who are struggling—spiritually, financially, emotionally. He knew we run a tight budget and wanted to know how I control things in the grocery store.

So how tight is our budget? I guess that depends on your perspective. We currently feed a family of seven on about $350 a month; and that is a very large increase from just a few years ago when all my children were home and we fed our family of eight on $150 a month.

Outside of a house payment, groceries are the second largest cost of living families encounter. Did you know that? While most bills are fixed and cannot be lowered by much, with a few tips families can dramatically reduce their grocery bill and free up needed money. If you want, or need, to ease your financial outgo look to your food bill first.

Don’t eat out. To take our family out for hamburgers and fries will cost us $40. I can feed my family for several days on that amount. Besides, my children would rather make their own hamburgers at home anyway. We can custom make our own burgers, just the way we want, for less than $10. With savings like that, we can even splurge on something extra--like ice cream. This doesn’t mean we don’t eat out occasionally but we keep it selective and special.

Plan a menu. Each month I sit down and plan out a menu for the entire month. It helps me know so I’m not tempted to resort to quick, more expensive solutions. First I first plan Sunday meals. Since those meals are generally a bit more costly I spread that cost into a second meal as I plan on how to use the leftovers. For example, if we have roast on Sunday, I may plan stew a few days later to use up leftover meat, gravy, and vegetables and I will write that on the menu: use leftovers. Besides adding leftover ingredients to soups or stews, I have learned to add leftover mashed potatoes—even cooked oatmeal--to a loaf of homemade bread or throw vegetables into a new stir-fry or pasta dish. Get creative!

Plan inexpensive meals. During the winter, I serve homemade soup once a week. During the summer, I try to have a meatless or salad night each week. A couple of times each month I schedule breakfast for dinner. Pancakes or homemade waffles are inexpensive and with some homemade chokecherry syrup or fresh fruit and whipped cream on top they produce a meal my family enjoys.

Shop to the menu. After I make my menu, I make my shopping list from my menu and then I take my list with me to the store. I do not deviate from my list very often and my children have learned the importance of shopping to that list and comparison checking for the lowest prices. Two of my children are already turning into price-savvy shoppers themselves and find it challenging to look for the best buy.

Use wisdom in the store. Never grab the first thing you see! The best buys are often way down low or up high. The expensive products are easy to reach. Look harder for the less expensive item.

Don’t buy the label. Buy the product.

Buy in bulk when possible.

Avoid convenient food. You also won’t find individual yogurt, applesauce cups, or pudding cups in my house. If I buy yogurt, applesauce, etc., I buy them in large containers the family can share. No individually-wrapped slices of cheese or small packages of expensive grated cheese, either. At a warehouse store I can buy five-pound blocks of cheese slices for only a few pennies more than a one-pound package of individually wrapped slices at a regular grocery store.

Avoid instant foods. While in the store, a man and his daughter approached me looking for the rice. The inexpensive long-grain rice was right in front of us. “No,” he said, “My wife doesn’t know how to cook that kind.” So I looked and pointed him to the vastly more expensive instant rices. Again he said his wife didn’t know how to cook that. She had only cooked rice in a bag. At which point I couldn’t help him. I’d never picked up boil-in-the-bag rice in my life. He eventually found a package and left. After he left I looked at the price and felt horror. He was paying $4 a pound for the item. I loaded my forty-cent a pound rice in my bag and went home.

Decide about coupons. I used to clip coupons but not any more. Most coupons are for the most expensive brand out there so, unless I’m getting double coupon value, which my area does not offer, I can find generic versions cheaper. In areas that still offer double or triple coupon days or other coupon perks, it may be worth it. Compare prices and decide for your area. Also, be aware of the temptation of using coupons you don't need. Unless the item was originally on your list to buy, using a coupon will cost you money, not save it.

Stock up on good buys. This means you have to know your prices. When you see a good buy, stock up. This keeps you from being forced to buy the same item later, when the price may be high. You can just wait until the price comes back down.

Pay cash. This is the biggest budget controller there is! When you go into the store with $200 cash in your wallet, you can’t go over. It is too easy to add a few extra items to your cart when you are using a credit card, debit card, or writing a check. Cash doesn’t stretch. You have to. That is what makes it the best budget controller around. If I can’t afford it, I get it later. If I have to have it, I put something else back. It’s that simple.

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