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How well I remember the phone call my husband received. His sister called to tell him the big news: she was engaged.
She then enthusiastically told him of every quality her future husband possessed. My husband hardly spoke at all.
After the phone call I asked my sweetheart, “So, how is he?”
“Apparently perfect.”
Smiling with knowledge I said, “Ask her if she still thinks he’s perfect 20 years from now.”
We both laughed over that one.
It has been said we should enter marriage with our eyes wide open and after marriage keep them half shut.
All too often the opposite happens. Because of giddy romance we don’t see clearly before marriage and after marriage our eyes fly open wide—in horror! We can’t believe we married that!!
Well, prior to my marriage I vowed I would find the perfect husband. I spent hours of teenage time creating lists of attributes he would have to have for me to love him for eternity. My list varied over time but the first five qualities were always the same: tall, blonde hair, blue eyes, love spaghetti, want to live in Arizona.
So, how did I do?
We live in Montana and I also struck out on the tall, blonde-haired, blue-eyed pseudo Italian part. In fact, I can safely say that spaghetti is far down on his list of favorite meals.
But you know what? He eats it anyway! And there are times, when things are hectic at home, he actually suggests it for dinner--and even helps me make it! How can you not love a man like that? What I originally thought was a ‘weakness’ has endeared him to me more than if he loved spaghetti!
"I will make weak things become strong unto them," promised the Lord. (Ether 12:27)
We don’t need perfect spouses. (In fact, none of us have them.) But marriage isn’t about marrying perfect, it is about becoming perfect.
We must make the choice to keep our eyes wide open after marriage—in appreciation. We can and should see the sacrifices and small gestures of devotion that surround us…both spoken and unspoken. And then we should verbally express gratitude for them.
A friend and college professor said something very wise. “I find that when I remember to praise my students and point out their gifts and make assignments clear, their work improves as they try to meet that standard. Criticism never seems to bring improvement, although it is easier to give and seems so necessary. It also crushes the spirit.”
He is so right. Good feelings escalate and enlarge. Criticism defeats and deflates their spirit…not just in the classroom but in life.
Mostly, though, criticism crushes us.
“He hath given unto you that ye might know good from evil, and he hath given unto you that ye might choose life or death; and ye can do good and be restored unto that which is good, or have that which is good restored unto you; or ye can do evil and have that which is evil restored unto you.” (Helaman 14:31)
When we do something good for our spouses--when we praise them and point out their special gifts--our marriage improves, positive feelings and works escalate, and the Spirit returns.
It’s a promise and eternal principle from God--
“For that which ye do send out shall return unto you again, and be restored.” Alma 41:15
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Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Love and laughter are the music of home
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I have often said that the sweetest sound I hear is the sound of my children laughing together and enjoying each other. How grateful I am that we hear that sound often in our home.
However, when they do argue or spit out insulting words at one another, a spirit changes inside of the home and something inside of me grows grey and aches. It is a sorrow I cannot explain but it is a feeling I know Heavenly Father understands, personally.
In Moses 7 Enoch beheld the heavens and the earth. He saw generation upon generation and he beheld Satan and his angels rejoicing at the darkness upon the earth.
Then he was blessed to see righteous “angels descending out of heaven, bearing testimony of the Father and Son; and the Holy Ghost fell upon many, and they were caught up by the powers of heaven into Zion.”
Then, after this marvelous sight Enoch records “that the God of heaven looked upon the residue of the people and he wept.
“And Enoch said unto the Lord: How is it that thou canst weep, seeing thou art holy, and from all eternity to all eternity? And were it possible that man could number the particles of the earth, yea, millions of earths like this, it would not be a beginning to the number of thy creations.”
Then Enoch points out the wonderful things the Lord has done: He is always there for us, He has taken Zion to his own bosom and “naught but peace, justice and truth is the habitation of thy throne…how is it thou canst weep?”
Then God, the ever-loving and involved Father replies, “these thy brethren, they are the workmanship of mine own hands and I gave unto them their knowledge…(and) agency…And unto thy brethren have I said, and also given commandment, that they should love one another and that they should choose me, their Father…but behold, they are without affection, and they hate their own blood.”
He saw His children hating each other, bickering, arguing, not getting along...and worse.
And because they could not get along, He saw someting more--“misery shall be their doom...wherefore should not the heavens weep, seeing these shall suffer?”
He did not want them to suffer because they could not love each other and get along. He felt concern for their future.
Then, when Enoch saw that the Lord’s plan, when he understood the depth of love--and of the sorrow--the Lord felt, and comprehended the sacrifice He and his Only Begotten were willing to make so His children would better understand love, “Enoch knew..and wept, and his heart swelled wide as eternity; and his bowels yearned; and all eternity shook.”
God doesn’t just want us to learn to share the toys. He wants us to learn to share the world and He weeps when we cannot do so simple a thing as love one another. He weeps because He knows if we can't share and love each other here, we won't be able to there.
Why? Because we won't make into Heaven. "that same spirit which doth possess your bodies at the time that ye go out of this life, that same spirit will have power to possess your body in that eternal world." (Alma 34:34)
Heaven is for families who love each other and for people who love all mankind.
How I love to hear the music of good, righteous laughter; of loving families enjoying each other; of strangers loving and helping strangers. It lifts home--and the entire world--a little closer to Heaven.
.
I have often said that the sweetest sound I hear is the sound of my children laughing together and enjoying each other. How grateful I am that we hear that sound often in our home.
However, when they do argue or spit out insulting words at one another, a spirit changes inside of the home and something inside of me grows grey and aches. It is a sorrow I cannot explain but it is a feeling I know Heavenly Father understands, personally.
In Moses 7 Enoch beheld the heavens and the earth. He saw generation upon generation and he beheld Satan and his angels rejoicing at the darkness upon the earth.
Then he was blessed to see righteous “angels descending out of heaven, bearing testimony of the Father and Son; and the Holy Ghost fell upon many, and they were caught up by the powers of heaven into Zion.”
Then, after this marvelous sight Enoch records “that the God of heaven looked upon the residue of the people and he wept.
“And Enoch said unto the Lord: How is it that thou canst weep, seeing thou art holy, and from all eternity to all eternity? And were it possible that man could number the particles of the earth, yea, millions of earths like this, it would not be a beginning to the number of thy creations.”
Then Enoch points out the wonderful things the Lord has done: He is always there for us, He has taken Zion to his own bosom and “naught but peace, justice and truth is the habitation of thy throne…how is it thou canst weep?”
Then God, the ever-loving and involved Father replies, “these thy brethren, they are the workmanship of mine own hands and I gave unto them their knowledge…(and) agency…And unto thy brethren have I said, and also given commandment, that they should love one another and that they should choose me, their Father…but behold, they are without affection, and they hate their own blood.”
He saw His children hating each other, bickering, arguing, not getting along...and worse.
And because they could not get along, He saw someting more--“misery shall be their doom...wherefore should not the heavens weep, seeing these shall suffer?”
He did not want them to suffer because they could not love each other and get along. He felt concern for their future.
Then, when Enoch saw that the Lord’s plan, when he understood the depth of love--and of the sorrow--the Lord felt, and comprehended the sacrifice He and his Only Begotten were willing to make so His children would better understand love, “Enoch knew..and wept, and his heart swelled wide as eternity; and his bowels yearned; and all eternity shook.”
God doesn’t just want us to learn to share the toys. He wants us to learn to share the world and He weeps when we cannot do so simple a thing as love one another. He weeps because He knows if we can't share and love each other here, we won't be able to there.
Why? Because we won't make into Heaven. "that same spirit which doth possess your bodies at the time that ye go out of this life, that same spirit will have power to possess your body in that eternal world." (Alma 34:34)
Heaven is for families who love each other and for people who love all mankind.
How I love to hear the music of good, righteous laughter; of loving families enjoying each other; of strangers loving and helping strangers. It lifts home--and the entire world--a little closer to Heaven.
.
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