My Son's Ox

My son purposely rode his ox into the mire today. Then, when he realized his ox was stuck, he got upset and vowed to leave it there.

It wasn’t his fault, he defended, someone else made him ride his ox into the mire. The other person needed to solve the situation and get the ox out of the mud, not him.

But I tell my children all the time--“solve the problem yourself.” Do not expect others to fix life for you.

My husband and I both talked to our son. We told him he had a responsibility to solve the problem. We let him know we knew the situation was hard and his feelings were understandable, yet he needed to put his own personal opinions aside and work to get that ox out of the mire.

As most very upset teenagers do, he didn’t like what we said. He dug his heels deeper into the mud, saying he would not do anything to fix the problem.

But I knew he would. He is a good kid with a heart of gold. He doesn’t like problems in his life and he will do even difficult things to fix problems. He just needed some time to process our counsel.

Sure enough, a few minutes later he came to me and said he would try to fix the problem but he wasn’t happy about it. Nor was he hopeful he could get it fixed in time. You see, there was also a deadline involved.

Nevertheless, he took a deep breath, sucked up his courage, and waded into the mud.

I watched my teenager start the task of digging his ox out of the mire. I knew his time to solve the problem was very limited and he would fail if left alone. I also knew how hard it was for him to even do the task, so I joined him. I got right down in the mud with him and, together, we worked and labored and dug his ox out of the mire.

Then he went, on his own, to face the adult he did not get along with and present him with the unstuck ox.

I was very proud of him. People may say he drove is own ox into the mire—that it was all his fault. But my memories will always be of him digging deep within himself and working extremely hard to resolve a very unpleasant situation.

My son purposely rode his own ox out of the mire today.

He is becoming a very good man.
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From nightmares to dreams

I had a nightmare last night. It jerked me completely awake and left me compressed by bands of residual terror. Even after I woke it took a moment to reclaim my mind and racing heart.

The nightmare involved two of my children and was so vivid I felt I needed to check on them; so I did what thousands of mothers around the world did last night. I got up in the dark and went from room to room checking on my sleeping family.

I found my teenage son still up playing video football games. (Alas, it was a Friday night.) We visited a moment then I moved on. My younger ones were sleeping soundly, the dog stretched out in peaceful slumber with them.

Then I went into the room another teenage son shares with the baby of the family. He hadn't wanted to let a four-year-old brother move in with him. He'd had his own room for a couple of years and he, understandably, didn't want to lose that privacy and independence. But circumstances (i.e. Mom and Dad) pressed upon him and they have shared a room ever since.

As I entered their darkened room last night I saw they were both sleeping soundly. I also saw that my teenage son had maneuvered a television into such a position that I knew he had watched a movie with his younger brother. How touched I was that he would put forth the effort to share a late night movie party with his little brother.

I returned to my room not longer terrified but filled with gratitude. After a prayer of thanksgiving I returned to bed but I couldn’t sleep. I knew my prayer was not finished.

So, as I lay in my bed I continued to express gratitude for my life—a life I have always thought of as average. But last night I realized it was not.

I have a good marriage partner who is faithful, loyal and supportive in his non-perfect way. How grateful I am that he comes home to me every night. He has seen me sick and angry and at my worst, yet he has covenanted to stay with me and he honors that promise. What a blessing.

I have tremendous children. They are not perfect. They all have their strengths and weaknesses; but they truly do love each other. Laughter is more common in our home than shouts and angry voices.

We pray together as a family every night and most mornings. We try to read the scriptures together. We hold weekly Family Home Evenings together. By their own initiative, even my teenagers come and give me hugs in front of their friends.

I forgot my nightmare and relished living a dream. What a wonderful way to finish a night! What a wonderful way to live a life!